Josh and Aaron get back into “Josh, what’s scaring you lately?!” to hear an epic tale. You don’t want to miss it.
Listen here or read the transcript below. FVF’s podcast is available wherever you listen to podcasts including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, and more.
0:00:00.0 Aaron: On an unrelated note, can I interrupt you for, “Josh, What’s Scaring you Lately?”
0:00:04.8 Josh: Yes, but…
0:00:06.8 Aaron: Let me ask it again.
[overlapping conversation]
0:00:06.9 Josh: Why is it always me that’s scared?
0:00:09.2 Aaron: I mean, you know why.
0:00:10.2 Josh: That’s… That’s… I’ll… It’s a… It’s a…
0:00:14.1 Aaron: First of all, this is only the second time we’ve done it. Second of all…
0:00:16.7 Josh: It was a rhetorical question.
[overlapping conversation]
0:00:17.3 Aaron: It’s always you.
0:00:18.5 Josh: It was a rhetorical question. I know it’s always me. I’m the scared one.
0:00:22.7 Aaron: This is our new segment.
0:00:24.2 Josh: What’s it called?
0:00:25.1 Aaron: “Josh, What’s Scaring you Lately?”
0:00:27.7 Josh: This is a true story. The other day I was driving in your neighborhood.
0:00:33.2 Aaron: I swear to God I did not prepare him for the answers. So I’m very… Please proceed.
0:00:37.9 Josh: I was driving down West 40th Street, actually. And I’m driving along, I was talking to Mark Farris, Mark Farris on the speakerphone. I’m driving along, and I heard this extremely alarming, loud, snapping, cracking and crashing sound immediately adjacent to me on the right. My first, of course, natural inclination was, “What have I hit this time?”
[laughter]
0:01:06.1 Josh: Okay?
0:01:07.3 Aaron: Fair.
0:01:07.9 Josh: So I’m driving and I look, and I see just tree leaves and greenery collapsing, and I’m very concerned. I was scared that I was about to be crushed by a tree.
0:01:18.9 Aaron: Right.
0:01:19.3 Josh: ‘Cause it can happen.
0:01:20.2 Aaron: Yeah.
0:01:20.7 Josh: And I kept…
[overlapping conversation]
0:01:21.3 Aaron: It happened to the governor.
0:01:22.7 Josh: It can happen.
0:01:25.2 Aaron: True.
0:01:25.6 Josh: It happens to people, unfortunately. So I drove 10 yards ahead and was able to come to a stop. I put my truck in reverse because I wanna make sure that no one’s been catastrophically harmed. I want to just assess the situation. And I’m backing up and I’m backing up, and I’m looking at my rear. I have a truck with a camera, a rear… And it beeps. Beeping and camera, visual and auditory alarms to help me avoid colliding with another object. And I’m driving and I’m watching the camera, and I’m looking at my side view mirror and I’m reversing backwards. And out of nowhere appears a man apparently responding…
0:02:19.8 Aaron: He’s alive.
0:02:20.7 Josh: He’s alive. Apparently responding to the same alarming, cataclysmic event that has just occurred adjacent to me. I get distracted by the man, and guess what happens?
0:02:36.2 Aaron: You hit the tree.
0:02:37.2 Josh: I hit a parked car.
0:02:39.9 Aaron: This is terrifying.
0:02:41.1 Josh: I hit a parked car. You know how I knew that I hit a parked car?
0:02:44.8 Aaron: [chuckle] I mean, I have a few guesses, but how did you know, Josh?
0:02:49.6 Josh: Because it felt like hitting a parked car!
0:02:52.0 Aaron: Yeah.
0:02:52.9 Josh: I put my truck in park, and I get out of the vehicle.
0:02:57.1 Aaron: How hard is it for you not to cuss during this story?
0:03:00.2 Josh: It’s hard. I’m angry…
[overlapping conversation]
0:03:00.2 Aaron: All right, go ahead.
0:03:00.8 Josh: I’m angry at myself at this time. But mostly scared and grateful that I hadn’t been just hit by a tree. And I get out of the car, and I’m talking to the guy who distracted me into crashing into this car. And we’re looking and we’re assessing the damage, and now I’m assessing the damage to the vehicle. The guy didn’t see me hit the car. And there’s no witnesses to me hitting the car…
[laughter]
0:03:21.9 Josh: Other than me. And I’m presented with a moral dilemma.
0:03:26.0 Aaron: And 10 million podcast viewers.
0:03:28.1 Josh: I’m presented with a moral dilemma. Do I flee, or do I do the right thing?
0:03:33.8 Aaron: I’m nodding my head, but you know what I mean.
0:03:36.7 Josh: Do I flee, or do I do the right thing? There’s no cameras. There’s nothing around. Guy doesn’t even know that I’ve hit this car. I know that I’ve hit the car. Guy doesn’t know that I’ve hit the car.
[laughter]
0:03:49.1 Aaron: Is what’s scaring you lately your own internal wrestling? Is it terrifying to be you on the inside?
0:03:56.6 Josh: It’s just terrifying internally and externally and all around.
0:04:01.0 Aaron: Okay. What happened?
0:04:02.4 Josh: Well, I’m like, I’m gonna see if I have a pen and paper to leave a note. I had just gotten my truck cleaned. I got no pen and paper. You know what most people would do at this time?
0:04:16.7 Aaron: Honk?
0:04:17.2 Josh: They would say, “You know, I’ve given this a ‘good faith’ effort. I thought about leaving a note. I didn’t have the tools available to me. I don’t know who the owner of this vehicle is. I’m just going to leave, and this person’s gonna file their insurance claim.” But you know what I did?
0:04:35.2 Aaron: What did you do?
0:04:36.4 Josh: I said, “Hey guy who distracted me into crashing into this car… “
[laughter]
0:04:40.7 Josh: “You just distracted me, and I crashed into this car. Do you happen to have a pen and a piece of paper I can borrow so I can leave a note?” And he did.
0:04:50.7 Aaron: Okay.
0:04:51.3 Josh: And I did.
0:04:53.6 Aaron: And then you got a phone call?
0:04:56.7 Josh: I got a phone call.
0:04:58.1 Aaron: Tell me about that. Did it go okay?
0:04:58.9 Josh: You know, this could have gone numerous different ways.
0:05:03.7 Aaron: Yeah.
0:05:03.9 Josh: Right? He could’ve been a jerk about it. He or she could have been… It was a Mercedes. I hit a Mercedes, by the way. He or she could have been…
0:05:10.9 Aaron: German?
[laughter]
0:05:13.4 Josh: Therefore angry.
0:05:14.9 Aaron: Yeah. My name’s Von Flatter, and I think…
[overlapping conversation]
[foreign language]
0:05:20.2 Aaron: I think I can make that joke…
[overlapping conversation]
0:05:21.3 Josh: So shout-out to Stephie, too. He was really cool about it. I said, “Hey man, this is what happened. I was assessing the situation. I got distracted and hit your car. Left a note with my number. That’s why you’re able to communicate with me, ’cause I’m a good samaritan.”
[laughter]
0:05:37.8 Josh: And he was like, “Man, it’s all good. Let’s figure out like the least expensive way to take care of this. I was thinking about trading the car anyway,” and it’s gonna be okay. And now I’m not scared anymore.
0:05:50.7 Aaron: I was just gonna tell you, don’t be scared.
0:05:52.2 Josh: Yeah. I’m not scared anymore.
0:05:53.3 Aaron: Don’t be scared of trees.
0:05:55.0 Josh: This is what happens when you do the right thing.
0:05:56.8 Aaron: You’re better than trees.
0:05:58.0 Josh: Do the right thing.
0:06:00.1 Aaron: Yeah. Do the right thing.
[overlapping conversation]
0:06:00.3 Josh: It’s the moral of this podcast story.
0:06:01.5 Aaron: Good job, Josh.
0:06:02.3 Josh: Thanks, Aaron.