The Best Superpower

0:00:00.0 Aaron: Hey, Josh.

0:00:01.3 Josh: Oh, hey Aaron.

0:00:01.7 Aaron: Name all the superpowers right now.

0:00:03.6 Josh: Oh, man. Throwing cards that explode. [laughter] Having titanium claws that come outta your hands. Flying.

0:00:13.3 Aaron: The real… No. Yeah. Okay, now we’re talking.

0:00:15.0 Josh: Electromagnetic radiation.

0:00:18.4 Aaron: Now we’re talking.

0:00:19.9 Josh: Flight.

0:00:21.2 Aaron: Shape-shifting.

0:00:22.4 Josh: Dodging bullets.

0:00:23.8 Aaron: Stopping time.

0:00:25.7 Josh: Flight. [laughter] Being able to manipulate the ocean.

[laughter]

0:00:33.4 Aaron: Wait, that’s good.

0:00:34.4 Josh: Thank you. Oh, spiderwebs out of the arms.

0:00:37.4 Aaron: So I was, I already had an idea of what the best lawyer superpower would be.

0:00:41.7 Josh: Turning blue.

0:00:42.8 Aaron: But now that you said manipulate the ocean, I, I’m like, how could I apply…

0:00:46.4 Josh: Getting big and green and destroying everything in your path. [laughter]

0:00:52.8 Aaron: What would, what superpower would you like to use if you were to have one superpower? Frankenstein is not a superpower.

0:01:03.8 Josh: I was hulking out.

0:01:04.7 Aaron: Oh, I see. Oh, so in court you would just Hulk all the way out [laughter] and dare the judge to call you in contempt. Like, just try it judge.

0:01:17.4 Josh: I think I’d probably be more likely to use it if I had screwed something up and I needed mistrial.

0:01:23.5 Aaron: I’m gonna tell you right now, the best superpower. Everyone’s thinking that as a lawyer you’re gonna say invisibility ’cause we’re supposed to be sneaky, behind like we’d get in the jury deliberation room.

0:01:37.4 Josh: That’s exactly what I was gonna say.

0:01:37.8 Aaron: Like, go, go in the judge’s chamber, get in opposing counsel’s conference rooms and…

0:01:42.6 Josh: All sorts of unethicals.

0:01:43.5 Aaron: Read their documents. But the best superpower is actually flight.

[laughter]

0:01:49.4 Josh: Alright. Explain to me how fly, just because at that point it’s like, what does it matter if I win or lose this trial? I can fly my ass outta here and go explore the world and do whatever I want all the time ’cause I can fly.

0:02:06.7 Aaron: Exactly. That’s point number one.

0:02:08.0 Josh: And people are gonna pay me to fly for them.

0:02:11.4 Aaron: Exactly.

0:02:11.7 Josh: I can could fly with a banner behind my legs advertising. I wouldn’t have to practice law. It wouldn’t even matter.

[laughter]

0:02:20.6 Aaron: So not only that, Josh, but also, you’d win every trial, because like, you’d fly and the jury would be so impressed. It’s like…

0:02:32.8 Josh: The power of misdirection too. Yeah.

0:02:34.7 Aaron: Yeah. Just levitate while you’re making an argument. [laughter] It’s just, wow.

0:02:41.5 Josh: Hey everybody, I understand that opposing counsel’s talking over there. [laughter] but notice me suspended from the earth.

[laughter]

0:02:54.2 Aaron: I’m losing it, I’m not okay.

0:02:55.8 Josh: On my own volition.

[laughter]

0:03:00.0 Aaron: I’m not okay.

0:03:00.8 Josh: Now I’m turning in the air. My feet aren’t on the ground. Levitating, spinning around.

0:03:08.1 Aaron: How many times has a law student hit the 15 seconds forward button on our podcast so far [laughter] do you think? When is the law going to, when are they gonna, are they gonna talk about the law?

0:03:19.4 Josh: Do you think it was when I was hulking out earlier [laughter] or when I was levitating in the courtroom?

0:03:28.5 Aaron: Stopping time would be good.

0:03:29.7 Josh: That’s a good one.

0:03:30.9 Aaron: Lawyers are always pressed for time.

0:03:33.2 Josh: That’s a good one.

0:03:34.0 Aaron: We’re late for podcasts. We’re late for court.

0:03:37.3 Josh: You could can also stop time like you got opposing counsel, they’re like reading their argument to the judge and you could stop time and go over there with a sharpie and like rewrite it or mark it out. Replace the document with something else. That’s the one.

0:03:51.5 Aaron: Yeah. And you could go, the judge, after opposing counsel hands the document to the judge, you stop time. You write like the judge is a dumb dumb on the paper.

0:04:02.8 Josh: Oh yeah.

0:04:03.7 Aaron: You start time back again and you stand back. You just wait for that grenade to explode.

0:04:08.9 Josh: Yeah. Also, like you could walk up to the judge’s bench and write a note to him or her saying, you look very well put together and handsome today. And then like walk…

0:04:20.9 Aaron: Oh, hang on.

0:04:22.6 Josh: Love plaintiff’s counsel.

0:04:24.8 Aaron: Wait, why [laughter] do you need to stop time to do that? ‘Cause…

0:04:29.9 Josh: That’s fair.

0:04:31.0 Aaron: Pretty sure you…

0:04:32.0 Josh: Just go do it.

0:04:32.7 Aaron: Just go do it.

0:04:34.5 Josh: Judge, I need to approach the bench.

0:04:35.3 Aaron: But you don’t do that. Oh, by the way, law students who are listening, that’s how you do it.

[laughter]

0:04:40.9 Aaron: Whether or not you can stop time, go write the judge a love note.

0:04:45.1 Josh: Yeah. There’s all sorts of things that you could do with the stoppage of time.

0:04:47.8 Aaron: Yeah.

0:04:48.6 Josh: I mean, in general.

0:04:50.0 Aaron: Yeah. What superpowers do we already have that we take for granted? Just the ability to legal research. I mean, you’re like, no, I don’t wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about [laughter] hulking out.

0:05:11.6 Josh: I was thinking about my ability to like throw fireballs out of my hands. Should we talk about that?

0:05:17.9 Aaron: Fireball spiderwebs.

0:05:18.8 Josh: Yeah.

0:05:19.2 Aaron: You didn’t see that coming.

0:05:19.6 Josh: We can talk about that. That’s probably like my best superpower.

0:05:24.4 Aaron: Your best superpower is saying you’re not gonna be good at podcasting on a certain topic and then actually making me pee my pants while I’m here talking to you. So thank you for that. It’s been a great topic and I hope people got as much out of this as they expected.

0:05:41.5 Josh: You’re welcome. Cheers.